Today was my birthday. This year, for once, it wasn’t just another day. I mean, it was because I still went to an eye doctor’s appointment…but it wasn’t because I felt that today was what it’s supposed to be…a celebration of my life.
M has never really celebrated his birthday. He says he doesn’t see the point. I get it. If it wasn’t a big deal growing up or just isn’t a big deal to you, then ok. That doesn’t mean that it’s not a big deal to other people. I respect his wishes and let his birthday be just another day (after the first couple of years when I made him a cake and I could tell it bothered him). However I have made it clear to him that I feel your birthday should be a special day. It should be a celebration of the fact that you’re alive and ANY kind of small gesture can symbolize that.
So, what did I get from him for my birthday today? A single rose? A 99 cent birthday card? Nope. I got NADA except for a “Oh yeah, Happy Birthday” when I woke up. I mean, the fact that I was given life should mean more to him than that, right? I’m not asking for an expensive gift. I truly don’t want an expensive gift. But I would like some gesture that my life is worth something. This has gone on like this for as long as we’ve been together and once again has me questioning if I truly mean anything to him.
My best friend is a woman I met around a year ago right here on WordPress. We have become very close. I can tell her anything and she can tell me anything. We Skype each other just as we are, which is usually lounging in bed in our pajamas because we don’t have the energy to do any different. This woman who I have known for less than a year sent me a gift package today. She made sure that it would be delivered to me on my birthday. It’s not about the gift…which happened to be a card, a beautiful journal, a password book, and a magnet…but about all the thought that went behind her putting it together and sending it.
So the way I see it, I mean more to this woman than I do to a man who has been part of my life for almost seven years. How messed up is that? Now, I know this sounds like I didn’t have a great birthday, but despite M’s lack of caring, this was a totally AWESOME birthday! The gift box sent to me by my best friend meant the world to me. We had our “Birthday Skype” and then she texted me and told me how much I meant to her and how happy she was to have me in her life. That in itself was enough to make it a great day! It almost made me cry to think that I mean that much to one person, and made it even more special because she means that much to me too. She has gotten me through some really tough times this past year when I might have just gone crazy without her.
Therefore, I dedicate this post to my best friend who made this birthday the best I’ve had in years. I am grateful and blessed to have such a wonderful friend in my life. She is more than a friend. She is family.