Anger

Anger is one hell of a monster. It will eat you alive if you let it. Right now, I am allowing the feeling to be…just be. I’m not acting on it, I’m not crying (which is what I usually do when I am as mad as I am right now). I’m sort of proud of myself.

Today I had an appointment with my new psychologist. The appointment was at 1:00 pm.  Since I had to take the rental car back this morning, I made an appointment with my insurance company’s transportation people to take me to see the doctor today (my insurance company provides 10 free round-trip rides to doctors appointments per year). They were supposed to pick me up at 12:00 for the 1:00 appt. At 12:30 I called to find out what was going on and they told me that the driver would be here any minute now.

The driver showed up at 12:47 allowing only 8 minutes to get to my appt. It usually takes 30 minutes for me to drive there myself. To make matters worse, there was another man that she had picked up who also had an appt. at 1:00. Guess who got dropped of first…that’s right…the man.  I mentioned that it was a new patient visit and that I should probably call to let them know that I was going to be late. The driver told me not to worry about it that she would have someone call for me and explain the situation.

I arrived at the doctors office at 1:30. I go in and was told that not only did they not get a call from the transportation company, but that since new patient visits are scheduled an hour and I was 30 minutes late that they would be unable to see me. I was MAD! Very. Very. Mad.  I called the transportation company and asked to speak to a supervisor. I explained to them what had happened and that thanks to them I had been waiting on them and walking around on a broken foot for nothing. That thanks to them the doctor had refused to see me. I also told them that I had no intention of waiting 3 hours for someone to decide to pick me up and to please send someone ASAP.  The supervisor “fixed” things by offering me a free transport after I reach my max for the year. However I have lost faith in their company and hopefully won’t have to use their services again. I have cancelled my appointments for next week to make sure that I have time to get my car back from the shop before having to deal with doctors and therapists again.

Needless to say that today I am REALLY missing my car. I sure hope that I get it back next week. Luckily the gentleman who came to pick me up was quite the character and made me forget about my anger at least for the ride home. His easy banter and conversation made me feel much better. At least for now my anger has subsided and is just a little whisper in my ear. Much better than when I began writing this post while waiting for them to pick me up.