Your Opinion Please

I am writing this post for two reasons: 1) M sort of told me to and 2) I am interested in your input.

I suffer from Adhesions which is internal scar tissue that basically “glues” your internal organs together. Any sort of movement including bending, reaching, sitting, even digesting my food when I eat (because my intestines are glued to various organs and to my abdominal wall) is painful. I also suffer from Fibromyalgia, a disorder of the nervous system which affects many things. It causes widespread muscle pain and weakness, sensitivity to light and sound, brain fog (fibro fog- easily forgetting things you would normally remember or not being able to find the right word when conversing). I also have hypothyroidism, hypoparathyroidism, pre-diabetes, anxiety, depression, and migraines. I take a good bit of medicine for these disorders, but lets skip to the one which is obviously a problem in my relationship…the pain medication.

Although I take muscle relaxers for my muscle aches and pains, and gabapentin for my pain, let’s talk about the opioid medications for a minute, also known as narcotics. When you see a pain specialist, their goal is to put you on the lowest dosage possible that still controls the pain to a normal, functioning level. They want you to still be able to feel pain for the same reason…so that you will know if something is wrong with your body. Right now I am using the Fentanyl patch (25 mg) for around the clock pain relief and Percocet (10 mg) 3 times a day for break-through pain. I take these medications exactly as prescribed except for some days I don’t need all three doses of Percocet so I only take two. In other words SOMETIMES I TAKE LESS THAN WHAT HE PRESCRIBES.

You might be thinking “what is the reason for all this explanation?” The reason is that I now know why M told me that the pain is all in my head yesterday morning. Apparently, he thinks that I am making up the pain in order to get more pain medicine. Like I of all people would make up pain. I take pain very seriously. Now, did I ask the pain management doctor for something else to take for about a week? Yes. But first of all understand that 1) I didn’t ask for pain medication from another doctor. I am running it all through the one doctor that handles my pain management; and 2) He gave me a small dose of Norco (a medicine that is weaker than what I am taking now) twice a day for seven days. Apparently he saw the need for added pain relief. Trust me, if he hadn’t, he would NOT have prescribed the Norco. Just ask any chronic pain patient who has had difficulties getting good pain relief. The doctor understands that this is not part of my normal, everyday pain and that also, to be frank, it is a hell of a place to break a bone. I mean, not only is it broken, but I have to walk on it meaning I put my whole body’s weight on it. OUCH!

So, here comes question and answer time…Do you think that it was ok to have asked for one week’s worth of additional medication or was I wrong and therefore I am a “drug addict” as M says? I especially want to hear from those of you who deal with chronic pain on a daily basis, but, I also want to hear from those who do not…in other words, anyone reading this is game to answer the poll below. Feel free to leave comments as well. All comments are welcome.

 

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36 thoughts on “Your Opinion Please

  1. Not to bash this M person but they have no clue what they’re talking about. In some cases mental pain can manifest into physical form but usually people are on pain meds because they are IN PAIN. It’s easy to pass judgment without understanding, and you won’t understand ever. Pain is a very complicated feeling, it drives you to think and feel alot. I don’t know fully what you’re going through but from the research I just did on the things you listed it doesn’t seem all that fun to deal with on a constant basis. All I have to say is, do what is in YOUR best interest, afterall you are the one that has to go through it while they sympathize but never fully grasp what you’re feeling.

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    • In my heart I know that. But right now my mind is playing tricks on me. Part of the reason of this post is to remind myself that I did the right thing and the other is so that I can show him that I’m right and he’s wrong…it was his idea.

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  2. It’s not the first tim M. has told you that and I think he should seriously stop, because he’s putting ur health in danger. As far as I know you didn’t go to a street corner to get drugs, someone who studied medicine for several years decided that you needed them. You have to stop justifying yourself for taking medication that are prescribed to you, please don’t listen to him and don’t feel guilty. I think last time you went to your sister’s because of something like that..can you do that again? anyway I hope his word didn’t affect you too much. Love you!!

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    • Yes, this happened before. But after I got back from my sister’s he changed so much. He stopped saying shit like that. So I figured I would give him another chance and then this happened. I am on my last straw. I am going to make an appointment with a couples therapist. If he goes and we work it out, great.
      If he refuses to go or we don’t work things out this time then I suppose we will have to call it quits.

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  3. It is your body and life so you can choose… no judgement… but I can also understand M who lives with you? feels a little helpless in your battle with pain and sometimes will say these things to you… because M doesn’t know how what to do or how to help you and is frightened of what he sees happening. Have you tried conscious breathing? Short times at different times of the day relaxing in a quiet and undisturbed place.. close your eyes and just breathe, deep gentle breaths, pushing your tummy out. Not doing anything except breathing in and out. Allowing thoughts to come and go, pain to come and go, feelings to come and go. Allowing yourself to be in the present moment shinning your IAM presence (divine soul) onto your human body, mind and spirit. Just being with yourself in compassion. Loving yourself no matter what. After a while feel how different you feel… Please let me know about it…. take care Barbara x

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    • I’ve tried meditation before. It’s hard to do because I have 3 fur babies who distract me. I have began to color mandalas because it was recommended to a friend as a way of “active meditation”. It definitely helps to calm me down if I’m upset, but I haven’t noticed a difference in pain levels. I agree with you that it must be hard on him to see me sick and know there is nothing he can do. However, that does not excuse him insulting me or calling me a drug addict. He needs to find another way to release his personal tensions without taking them out on me.

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      • Even 5 mins is good… can’t you close a door? Can you ask him why he has to say such hurtful words to you? and if you or he can’t, as you suggested mediation to communicate and try to understand his hurtful words could help. In the meantime, don’t take his words to heart, you know the truth… Barbara

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  4. First let me say I understand fully what you are going through. I don’t think you were wrong because when you are dealing with chronic pain and then have an injury in a totally different area it sends the pain receptors in our brains CRAZY overloading so the pain is more extreme for some of us. M, is right in a way that it is in our heads.. since EVERYONE has the receptors in the brain that sends out endorphines (spelling?) to the areas needed BUT when in chronic pain cases those receptors and endorphines fight each other and in some cases we don’t always win on the less pain awards thank you… Hope your foot heals quick and no complications Joy.

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    • Thank you Tracy for reading and giving me your input. However, when he said that it was in my head he wasn’t talking about receptors and endorphins. His point was that if I am already taking pain medication that I shouldn’t feel the pain from my broken foot – that I feel it because I want to. I tried to explain that the meds don’t take away ALL pain because that wouldn’t be safe. Pain is our way of letting us know that something is wrong with our bodies.

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  5. Of course you are not a drug addict! M is really out of touch with the science of chronic pain. If you are serious about working it out with him … First of all make sure the couples therapist has an understanding of pain management. You don’t need someone else who has been influenced by the media’s anti opiate fixation weighing in on your relationship. Also, can M come to an appointment with your pain management specialist and hear the medical opinion on why you have been prescribed your medications? That might help. Again, sorry you have been hearing these things from him! They are not acceptable and he needs to change.

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    • He has been to doctors appointments with me before, but he won’t ask questions. However, he quit going with me some time ago. The therapist I plan to use was recommended to me by my personal therapist, but I will check with her to make sure about his stance on pain management. You make a really good point. There are people who are simply anti-opiate. Maybe M is one of them.

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  6. Oh Good Lord… can I come and give M a verbal smackdown or something?

    People tell me I shouldn’t take this stuff personally, but… I am not a dope fiend! You tell him that, and that I said you did the right thing! I mean, dayuuuuuum! I explained to one of my physician’s nurses that I don’t need a med contract, and I’m not going to use Wikipedia information without vetting it with them first! Seriously, I said many of my doctors have to tell me to TAKE THE FULL AMOUNT BECAUSE I WILL SKIMP. Seriously, this idea of M’s, it’s RABBIT SHIT. It’s damned paranoia, and he just needs to drink a steaming cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP.

    I don’t like taking big pill salads, and I’d cut it down if I could– well, I had to do that with psych drugs.

    STEP OFF M, YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT THIS.

    *cough* Sorry about that.

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  7. OMG – M has swallowed the media propaganda and believes that BS over what you, his supposed loved one, is telling him. He is accusing you of being an addict – and you don’t remotely resemble anything close to that.

    I would have needed a heck of a lot more extra pain medication if I broke a bone! Just the question itself is so insulting and callous – why are you suspect for treating your obvious pain?

    M is obviously not very smart – nor loving. Remember, people usually accuse others of what *they* would do.

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  8. It is VERY important that chronic pain sufferers (I am one) control their pain. If not, it causes ridiculously high Blood Pressure, which will damage the kidneys (I have lost 65-70% of my kidney function because of it). I too have to deal with many people instantly judging me and believing that I shouldn’t be taking pain medication. But you know…that is easy for them to say, they don’t have to live in our bodies! Nonetheless, it truly gets old for me to be constantly negatively judged.

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  9. I think because many people don’t understand chronic pain, they want to make grandiose statements. Yes, there are a lot of drug seekers in the world. But there are also a lot of people who hurt in general by just living. I think many people think if they can’t “see” the problem themselves that it doesn’t exist. I can’t see the wind either, but I know I feel it! As long as you have a reputable doctor, I don’t see the point in anyone saying something like that. I deal with drug seekers and I deal with people with legitimate pain issues. There is a difference. Frankly, sometimes you need to change up the meds a little to see if something else will work better. I had to do that last week for my anxiety. Guess what! I found a lower dose med that is non-addicting and it helps!

    Prayers for you.

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    • Thank you. I know that I have a great doctor…group of doctors…who would be the first to tell me if they thought there was a problem. It just hurts when the one person who is supposed to understand doesn’t.

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