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February 23, 2014

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chronic pain

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“Broken”

I’ve been battling with myself for a while, not really wanting to talk to anyone and wanting to spend time alone. I am not sure when or why this started, but I’m hoping to crawl my way out of this hole soon. Thank you all who have been worried about me…you have no idea how much I appreciate it. I wanted to share this song with you all. It comes from the movie “Broken Bridges”. It is a song that lets you know that however you are feeling is ok. Enjoy.

33 thoughts on ““Broken””

    • I honestly don’t know what to say to this besides Thank You. I think that is about the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I hope I can live up to that. I do try. I fight every day. It’s just that sometimes I guess I need a break from trying to be strong. I know I will get over this hump and it’s because of people like you. Thank you.

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      • You don’t have to ‘try’ to be strong. You ARE strong 🙂 You are a fighter and you inspire me. In a way looking at the struggles people like you are confronting on a daily basis, I am tutoring my mind… in a way conditioning my mind as to how to ‘fight and stay strong’ if I were to face a similar situation in my life This could well happen to me tomorrow and nobody in the world is going to help me get over my situation other than myself. I have to first help myself, and the world will lend a helping hand. If I fail me,myself, then I cannot blame the world for not helping me. I have always believed in this.
        You will come out of this because you shall 🙂 All my best sincere wishes to you to get well.

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      • Hey Joy, she’s right, you know… part of the Hero’s Journey that I blog about is about struggles, just like yours.

        Just because our tales are seldom told and our sorrows seldom sung, doesn’t mean that we are not heroes. We are. We are champions.

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  2. I’m glad to hear from you. I know how it ebbs and flows. I’m sorry I haven’t reached out. Sometimes I get hyperfocused plus I’m not as good at online communications for various reasons. I hope you feel better soon. I have a twitter and I’ll follow you there. HUGS

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  3. I am not ready to tell you why I ‘left the reservation’, but I have still read every one of your post since our last contact.

    I am only saying something now because I recognize the ‘signs’ of someone ‘on the edge’ as I have been there and tested it…THANK GOD I LOST.

    Ms. Joy…I am LIVING PROOF the sun comes up regardless…This song is old, but the lyrics are timeless…I had heard it many times before, but never ‘thought about it’.

    The meaning can fit to any situation, but for me,it meant the world in terms of HOPE.

    Give it a listen…You still have my private email address.

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    • I have missed you so much. I was worried that something had happened to you because I did send you an email and never got an answer. I am relieved to know that you are ok. It gives my heart some peace. I will email you soon and check up on you. Thank you for still being there for me whether in the dark or not. I completely understand feeling the need to hide. Thank you, thank you, thank you for contacting me. Sending you lots of ((hugs))!

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    • I liked the song very much. Yes, I know things will get better. They just have to. I believe it was a medicine they put me on that has gotten me down. Now that I’m off the meds I’m hoping I’ll be back to normal very soon. Again, thank you for sharing the song.

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  4. Hi there. I feel so sad for your situation and I just want you to know that even though I don’t know you personally I am praying for you. I also thought of a beautiful song that has encouraged me and lifted my spirits in hard times. I have included the U-tube link for you to have a listen if you feel like it. It’s called “Cry out to Jesus” by Third Day

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    • Thank you Merryn. It is a beautiful song and I’m glad you’ve shared it with me. I also appreciate the prayers. It’s amazing how you can feel a connection to someone you don’t know, isn’t it? I look forward to seeing you around. Thanks again.

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      • Glad you liked it. It popped into my head immediately as I was reading your post. I am so glad you are honest on your blog and don’t try to pretty up how you are feeling – that way people can support you and provide you with words to uplift you on the days when you most need it. I’m so glad I recently joined the blogosphere. There’s a whole community of people online who are hurting and confused or needing to be heard and it is such a powerful way to reach loads of people at the one time.

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  7. Strength is in being REAL, AUTHENTIC, & VULNERABLE. After attempting suicide in 2012, I’m learning this. And Brené Brown has two great books about being you no matter what you you are. The Gifts of Imperfections and also Daring Greatly. They are wonderful and are helping me.

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    • Thank you very much. I will look into them. I’m glad that they have been so such help to you and I’m always looking for something that will help me with what I’ve been dealing with.

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  8. I sure miss you, girl. I hope you are ok. I know you too well and it’s not like you to not be here for this long. I’ve been in that dark hole, you are strong, Joy, and you will make your way out just as soon as you’re ready. hang in there. you know where to find me if you need me. Rest and get better, my dear friend.
    Peace, love, and hugs,
    Wild Thang

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    • You know me. I’ve been through this and worse. I’m just still afraid that things will get worse. Part of me knows that it might, but another part of me knows that I am a very strong person and I can deal with this. I just hope that I can find the strength to start writing again soon. I suppose when my nerves calm down enough for me to change the things that I think of (you know why I can’t write about them) that I will be able to write again. In a way I feel like I’ve let my readers down. I’ve always been able to write the truth, but if I can’t write the truth then I feel I shouldn’t write at all. Thank you so much for being my friend, my shoulder to cry on, and my biggest fan. You mean the world to me, you know.

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      • Hi girlfriend, thanks for responding so I know that you are “ok.” I know the cycle all too well, myself, as you well know. It’s up and down and all over town. You are a very strong woman and you CAN do this. Don’t beat yourself up over needing your time to process what’s going on at this moment. I haven’t been able to write, either, and you know why and it’s kind of the same thing, I can’t write about it here. I can’t share that part of my journey with the world. That’s why I’m so lucky to have people like you, that I can share those things with. You mean the world to me and I only want the best for you and it makes me sad to know what you are going through. You aren’t letting anyone down. You come first. Your friends and followers will still be here when you are ready. We just like to know you are “ok.” We understand. All of us people with all these invisible chronic illnesses, your friends, love you and will always be here for you, you know that, I hope. My friend is coming in town today. She’ll probably be over here sometime after 5:00 p.m., as her boyfriend has to be in a meeting at 5:00 p.m. I’ll skype you just as soon as I can and in the meantime you know how to get a hold of me, if you need me before. 24/7 you know the deal. Text me and I’ll be right here for you no matter what I’m doing or whoever is here. Hang in there. You got this. I know it sucks, but you are strong and things will improve, as they always seem to do, even if just for a bit. It’s this crazy roller coaster we ride. Sending lots of sunshine and a gigantic bear hug your way. Feel “better” soon, my dear friend.
        Peace, love, and hugs,
        Wild Thang

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    • I’m ok. I haven’t felt much like blogging recently, but hope to start back soon. Thank you for asking. I miss hearing from you, too (but of course I just have to check my email to find your posts). They are all still there in my inbox waiting to be read. I’ve had some trouble with depression and some problems at home that have kept me down but hoping to be back to my old self soon. I really do miss everyone!

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  10. Joy, my dear friend. It’s been so long. Are you sure you are ok? My friend has come and gone, I’ve been sick (what’s new?), and my mother in law passed away. I haven’t been here much, either. I’m going to be turning on skype now and every time I get on here, please skype me when you feel up to it. I’m worried about you. You know I love and care about you, girl. I’ll try to be patient and wait for your call. Get to feeling better. I miss you and our chats so very much. You mean the world to me. I need to know you are ok.
    Peace, love, and hugs,
    Wild Thang

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    • I’m ok. I would call you now, but you know how hard it is when M is home. How about you call me in the morning when you get up? I have an appointment in the afternoon, but I will be here all morning. I’ll set my alarm and make sure my Skype is on by 8:00 am. That will give us a while to talk depending on when you get up. Guess what? The past 2 nights I have actually slept all night long…no waking up every couple of hours. So, I think that plus a little trip I have planned will help jump-start my feeling better. I am so sorry about your mother-in-law. I wanted to call when I found out, but didn’t know if it was a good time. I figured you had some processing of your own to do. So, are we set for tomorrow morning? Can’t wait to talk to you!

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      • Hi Joy, sorry it’s 4 days later and I’m just now getting to this message. I have nothing on my schedule tomorrow. are you available tomorrow to skype? Glad to hear you’ve been getting some sleep. that’s why I’m just getting to this because I’ve been sleeping day and night, pretty much for the past week. Let me know about tomorrow and we’ll go from there. I love and miss you, girl. Can’t wait to talk to you. It’s been a long time.

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  11. Praying for you and although I don’t have the pain that you are dealing with, I do struggle with depression. There are some days that getting out of bed in the morning just aren’t worth it. But a prayer goes a long way. And medicine helps too. Not as good as a prayer, but I am glad to have it. Thinking of you.

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