A very good friend of mine has been trying to convince me to write a letter to myself from the point of view of my older, wiser self. I suppose now is as good a time as any (but I have been putting it off for quite a while). This is my take on that exercise:
Dear Joy,
Where did all the time go? One minute you were a kid in school, gifted, making excellent grades and with a sparkling future ahead of you, and the next minute you are a woman, all grown up. Your future right now no longer sparkles. It is dull and lifeless. I know that situations beyond your control contributed to the life you lead now, but there were some bad decisions along the way as well. What you must do now is learn from those mistakes, whether there were of your own doing or not. I know that you have learned some lessons, but there are many more that need to be learned.
You have learned that doctors are human and make mistakes too. You must always go behind them (or in front of them) and do your own research. Never take a medication just because the doctor tells you to. Learn everything you can first and make an informed decision. You have learned that men come and go. If they go, it may hurt for a while, but you will find someone else. Sure, it was easier when you were younger, but you didn’t always choose them wisely. Make sure that you find someone who will love you for who you are, defects and all. Someone who will cherish you like you deserve to be cherished, and someone who will respect you. You have a big decision to make. Be sure that you make the right one for you.
You have always been a good friend, but now there are people in your life who need you just as bad as you need them. Always listen closely to what is said and try to figure out if there is something not being said, support them and love them just as you hope they will love and support you.
You have come a long way, but there is still much more to come. In order for you to live you life to the best of your ability, you must learn to :
Love Yourself – Somewhere along the way you lost sight of who you are. It is to be expected when your life changes so dramatically, but that is no excuse to keep yourself down. You have always been a strong, loving, and faithful person. Recognize those qualities in yourself and accept them. Try every day to improve on them.
Keep Fighting – I know that everyday is a battle. Like someone recently said, you may lose a battle or two, but never give up on the war. Keep fighting. Recognize that strength in you and use it to get through every day.
Never Give Up – Those days when you lose the battle, don’t give up. Remember that there will be a tomorrow and you must make it there. Don’t give up on yourself just because it may seem easier at the time. You can do this!
Trust – Trust in yourself. Trust in others. Some may not deserve your trust, but you have no way of knowing that until they prove you wrong. So, in the meantime, trust.
Have Faith – Never lose faith in yourself or in the people you love. Never lose faith in God. This is all happening for a reason. You may not see it now, but one day you will know why He chose for you to suffer. Keep the faith.
Love – Most importantly, love. Love with all your heart. Love your friends and family. Love those who mean something to you. Everyone is facing their own battles, so love them and support them. Love your neighbor…love a stranger. There can never be too much love in this world, so let it come from you.
Love,
Me
Joynpain2 
Very well written! *Gentle Hugs*
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Thanks Eddie. Hugs right back at you!
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Love this letter to yourself! And, I love that you have owned up to the fact that you haven’t always made the right choices in life!! That was the most freeing statement I ever made for my well-being was to be able to own up to my own poor choices and the fact that they altered my path. I made the choices that led me to where I am, I made the choices that put me in a position where others bad choices affected me. That was so life affirming for me! Once I realized that, I realized that I had so much more power than I thought! So, congrats on writing your letter! 😉 I loved it!
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Thank you so much for your comment! Yes, I take full responsibility for the decisions I’ve made. I know that my life would have been a lot different otherwise. But I also know that things happen for a reason and I always had the best of intentions at heart. That’s what counts. Now, I just have to suck it up and make the best of the life I have. No regrets.
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No regrets! Lol. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to own up to my decisions, but once I did, I can’t picture it any other way! And then, I get surprised when I encounter people who won’t take any responsibility at all. It is always someone else’s fault. I just see them giving away all their personal power and it hurts! But yes, I believe that I was meant to make some of those mistakes to put me right where I am! 🙂
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Excellent! I love the last part, there never can be too much love in this world.” That is so true. I loved all of it! ((Hugs))
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Thanks PJ. I can’t believe I put it off for so long.
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You are a very strong woman, Joy. Very few people have a full grasp of who they are, that is why, they can’t seem to give the best advice for themselves. Knowing who you are is knowing what to tell yourself. I admire you more.
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I think that may have been the reason I put it off for so long…I had just lost sight of who I am. Bit by bit I am getting “reacquainted” with myself, with my new life. I still may not know who I am, but I have a better idea of who I want to be. Thank you Maxim for your sweet comment.
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Was this difficult to write, then? I think I’ve encountered this exercise before, and I can’t imagine doing the same just yet, because it’s painful for me.
“You have learned that men come and go.” Are you referring to doctors, or…?
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It actually wasn’t that hard once I made up my mind and started writing. That can refer to whatever. Doctors, boyfriends, husbands, friends, etc.
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I hope I don’t seem pokey, but this reminds me of someone my wife, Cimmorene, and I knew when we were newly married. Beautiful, sweet woman. I think we were looking at pictures from Cimmy’s bridal shower, and I asked why she wasn’t married yet. She said something like the guys didn’t seem to want to have anything to do with her because she has MS. Well I got pretty upset about that, even angry. I had a middle school teacher whose wife had MS, and best I recall, he remained faithful even when her health deteriorated.
Maybe I don’t understand because I haven’t had the shoe on the other foot quite yet, but I am grateful Cimmorene has been there for me when I hurt so badly (much of this came after the experience I mentioned before). Maybe I’m just a different sort of man– I’ve always felt that chronic illness proved true love.
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For some it does. And for others, chronic illness proves to be too much for the caregiver/sig.other to handle. I have been with this person for 6 years and instead of trying to understand I get the usual “you’re just being lazy” “you just need to get out more” etc. I understand that it may be hard for him to see me in pain, but he is not handling it the way he should. The cards are still up in the air about what will happen to us. I believe that if he can’t be supportive during my worst times, he has no right to be there during my good times. I think I deserve someone who will be supportive and understanding. Otherwise, I will be better on my own. What do you think?
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Makes perfect sense to me, Joy. In fact, I think it’s admirable– I’ve always had difficulty realizing that I have a right to my own self-worth and wellness. (For now, I have a good woman that keeps reminding me of that.)
I consider myself lucky that Cimmorene has been so supportive in my worst times– there have been plenty of thorns amongst the roses, for sure, but I would tell anyone that our love is strong because of the storms, as well as our more open affection everyone seems to say “aww” over. 15 years solid we’ve been, for sure.
So yeah, I think you’ve got the right attitude– I think relationships need to have such. Hopefully your man will come around and see that. I get “you need to get out more” often enough myself, but my loved ones thankfully don’t beat me over the head with it. Quite a few are dealing with their own chronic illnesses, in fact– like my father. (I think he’s easily got it worse than me, but we compare notes ALL the time.)
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