A very good friend of mine has been trying to convince me to write a letter to myself from the point of view of my older, wiser self. I suppose now is as good a time as any (but I have been putting it off for quite a while). This is my take on that exercise:
Where did all the time go? One minute you were a kid in school, gifted, making excellent grades and with a sparkling future ahead of you, and the next minute you are a woman, all grown up. Your future right now no longer sparkles. It is dull and lifeless. I know that situations beyond your control contributed to the life you lead now, but there were some bad decisions along the way as well. What you must do now is learn from those mistakes, whether there were of your own doing or not. I know that you have learned some lessons, but there are many more that need to be learned.
You have learned that doctors are human and make mistakes too. You must always go behind them (or in front of them) and do your own research. Never take a medication just because the doctor tells you to. Learn everything you can first and make an informed decision. You have learned that men come and go. If they go, it may hurt for a while, but you will find someone else. Sure, it was easier when you were younger, but you didn’t always choose them wisely. Make sure that you find someone who will love you for who you are, defects and all. Someone who will cherish you like you deserve to be cherished, and someone who will respect you. You have a big decision to make. Be sure that you make the right one for you.
You have always been a good friend, but now there are people in your life who need you just as bad as you need them. Always listen closely to what is said and try to figure out if there is something not being said, support them and love them just as you hope they will love and support you.
You have come a long way, but there is still much more to come. In order for you to live you life to the best of your ability, you must learn to :
Love Yourself – Somewhere along the way you lost sight of who you are. It is to be expected when your life changes so dramatically, but that is no excuse to keep yourself down. You have always been a strong, loving, and faithful person. Recognize those qualities in yourself and accept them. Try every day to improve on them.
Keep Fighting – I know that everyday is a battle. Like someone recently said, you may lose a battle or two, but never give up on the war. Keep fighting. Recognize that strength in you and use it to get through every day.
Never Give Up – Those days when you lose the battle, don’t give up. Remember that there will be a tomorrow and you must make it there. Don’t give up on yourself just because it may seem easier at the time. You can do this!
Trust – Trust in yourself. Trust in others. Some may not deserve your trust, but you have no way of knowing that until they prove you wrong. So, in the meantime, trust.
Have Faith – Never lose faith in yourself or in the people you love. Never lose faith in God. This is all happening for a reason. You may not see it now, but one day you will know why He chose for you to suffer. Keep the faith.
Love – Most importantly, love. Love with all your heart. Love your friends and family. Love those who mean something to you. Everyone is facing their own battles, so love them and support them. Love your neighbor…love a stranger. There can never be too much love in this world, so let it come from you.