Unhappy Thanksgiving (To Me)

It seems that as the holidays approach (very quickly) that I find myself completely unprepared for them. Between recent issues at home to extraordinarily high pain levels, I just don’t seem to be in the holiday spirit. I would love nothing more than to be able to cook a proper meal (I love to cook) even if I don’t exactly have a happy family to share it with.

So how does one get in the spirit of the holidays, with emotional roller coasters, high pain levels, and the impending 10th year anniversary of my mother’s death knocking at the door? I simply don’t know. I think Thanksgiving is probably out of the question being that I am a big ball of nerves and can’t find the strength to be up long enough to cook. Perhaps by Christmas I can at least see the doctor to figure out where the majority of this pain is coming from. It’s a familiar kind of pain, so if I had to guess, either a cyst has burst or I have a urinary tract infection. I can see my GP for the second of the two, but would have to see the Ob/Gyn for the other, an appointment that usually takes at least a month to schedule. Maybe I can get an appointment for just the ultrasound and let the doctor call me if there’s anything there. Either way, I’ve had enough of them that I’m getting quite good at reading the ultrasound myself.

So, back to the holidays…how the hell am I supposed to enjoy the holidays with a person I can’t trust any more? Of course, he is in his super sweet phase now, which to be honest (and I sort of feel bad saying this) kinda makes me sick to my stomach. I am barely able to eat anyway…maybe I’ll just make a turkey sandwich for Thanksgiving. Quick, easy, and if I can’t eat it all, will be there waiting for the next meal. I really am trying to change my attitude (I know it’s kinda shitty right now) but I don’t quite know how. If there was a Scrooge for Thanksgiving, I would be him (her). Any suggestions?






12 thoughts on “Unhappy Thanksgiving (To Me)

  1. You asked for suggestions. I suggest that you make a list of all the “blessings” in your life. For this challenge, no thinking about your pain or your crappy BF. Just think about the “blessings”. There will be more than you think. I hope and I really truly hope, this makes you feel better and you have a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving. Even if it is with a turkey sandwich. 😀


  2. I hope I can be of help to you. I’m in the same boat as you my friend. I live with a roommate; and will be alone for the holiday, yes I’m seeing someone but it’s still hard because she won’t be around. I plan on having oatmeal for my dinner. I know loneliness all to well and pain.

    We can gather for a virtual dinner, I’d be more than happy.

    Yes writing a list of your blessings is always a great way to handle things, because when you are counting your blessings you don’t have room for the downs.

    Sending you hugs!


  3. I really need to talk to you, girl and it sounds like you need to talk to me. I’m sorry you’re going through all that. Today my insurance company wouldn’t authorize the ultrasound that my doctor ordered, so I am getting back into that dark place. I cannot take much more. I hope we can talk tomorrow. I’ll find out how many minutes I have left and if I have very many, I’ll call you in the afternoon after my appointments, Ok. Hang in there till I can get to you, ok hon. I love you, girl. If I’m short on minutes, I’ll have to wait till 7 p.m. you know the deal. I must try to get to sleep because I have to get up at 6:45 a.m. in the morning. Can’t wait. I hope you can get some sleep.
    Wild Thang 😦


  4. Priceless Joy made a great suggestion, Also, why not do something just for yourself that you wouldn’t normally do, spend the day watching movies that YOU love, grab a bottle of wine, give yourself a pedicure, soak in a bubble bath….enjoy the peace and solitude of the day.


    • I normally don’t drink because of the medication, but a glass of wine won’t kill me…it’ll probably help, especially with the extra pain. The bubble bath sounds like a good idea too. As far as solitude, none of that because M- and his brother are still here. At least he’s being nice right now. Thanks for the good ideas Leslie!


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