Harsh

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I have so many feelings running through my mind and body right now that I am literally sick to my stomach. I am finally starting to stand up for myself and have been called “harsh” twice in less than a month. Since when does having a backbone make you harsh? Have I really been (am I) so quick to people-please that defending myself makes me sound mean? Did you know that I think the world revolves around me; I am the only one that matters…the only one sick and/or hurting? HA! Sometimes I wish I were more self-centered…then maybe I would take better care of myself and love myself more.
I truly don’t have the energy to go into any more detail than this. If you believe in God, please pray for me. If not, then send some healing and comforting energy my way. It’s early still and the 12 pack is already empty…I have a feeling there’s going to be many more of his ‘opinions’ before the night is through.

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22 thoughts on “Harsh

  1. You know what, just worry about yourself. Standing up for yourself is a good thing people around you are just not used to that , you seem like you’re the kind who gives and never expect anything back…so good for you that you;re being more affirmative. I will pray for you and stay strong !

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    • Thank you. You know, I truly believe that the other two ladies prayers were heard. We had a HUGE fight, but for some reason I am at peace about it. I still welcome any prayers because I still have to deal with him until he finds a place. It hasn’t been and it won’t be easy. Thank you for showing you care.

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  2. Hey, girl. I’m sorry you’re still having a rough day today. Can you get in another room so you don’t have to be around him. Sticking up for yourself, having a backbone, is not harsh. What’s harsh is to let everyone walk all over you, call you names, kick you around. I used to be like that to avoid conflict, but once I started sticking up for myself, I feel a lot better in that aspect. Stay strong, chin up and we’ll have our phone chat tomorrow. I’m going to a memorial service at 11:30 a.m. and will probably be home by around 2:00 p.m. I’ll let you call me, just in case you are able to get a nap in. I’ll be praying for you. You’re right it won’t be easy. It’s never easy even when you know you’re doing the right thing. It takes two to make it work and when the other person isn’t participating, it will never work and you will just be wasting a bunch of time and be so stressed out all the time, I know this from experience. I’m sorry. I really wish you 2 could work it out, but I do think having the brother there isn’t helping matters. You know what you need to do to make life better. It may still work out. Be patient. Believe in yourself and don’t let anyone abuse you physically or emotionally. You know all that stress is making everything worse. I love you, girl. I know you got this cause you are an intelligent, young woman. Wild Thang will always be here for you, you know that. Try to get some sleep so you don’t have to put up with it tonight. I had 2 appointments today at 9:30 a.m. and 11:30 a.m., that PT kicked my ass and I took a nice long nap from 4:30 – 9:00 p.m. and ever since I woke up I’ve been struggling to stay awake, so I’m going to try to get some sleep so I can get up and make it to the memorial service because it will upset me if I have to miss it. Take care and tomorrow we talk.
    Peace, hugs and love,
    Wild Thang πŸ™‚

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      • I just left you a message and right before I hit reply, it vanished. Now, you know that really pisses me off especially when I’m as tired as I am. What I was trying to tell you is that I went to that memorial service and came home and went through medical records for 3 hours, nowhere near being done, but working on it. I was trying to ask you if we could talk tomorrow because I’m about to fall asleep? Now, you know I’m always here for you no matter what, so if you need to talk to me, just call any time night or day. If I’m asleep, we’ll just pray I hear the phone. I’ll make sure it’s turned up on as high as it will go. Don’t ever worry about waking me up. It’s not like I have to get up and go to work or anything. I probably won’t make it over to check my email until tomorrow, I have zero energy. I just pray you are having a better day today and that M. went to work. Hang in there, girl. You got this.
        Peace, love, and hugs,
        Wild Thang πŸ™‚

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  3. Sometimes it has to be all about you and everyone else just has to sit back, strap in and hang on. So find those friends of yours (I have a sister and a counselor) and let loose. I’m going to light a candle for you. May your day be amazing.

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    • Thank you very much…I need all the prayers I can get right now to keep me sane and calm through this unbearable transition in life. I will go into more detail later, but right now I am spent. Thank you also for the follow. I will be looking forward to reading your blog.

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  4. Its better to stand up for your self than to get walked all over. Some people can’t handle strong people. Be strong, keep your head up. Hope your having a great day!!!

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  5. Pingback: The harshness of right this moment | The Mana'o Blog

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