I know it has been quite a while since my last post. I started to write a couple of times, but honestly my mind wasn’t there for me to write them. It has been quite a tedious week for me, a busy one, and a painful one.
My my last post was on Friday. My house guests left on Saturday. I literally had to drag myself out of bed to get them to the bus station. Note to self: do not get the flu shot when you are pushing yourself too hard and doing too much. Wait until things slow down. So, on top of already being exhausted from two days of running around, I spent the weekend with flu-like symptoms. Add to that I had to do a two-day prep for my colonoscopy/endoscopy on Monday and it would be fair to say that I was in hell all weekend. Pure hell.
Monday I felt better from my mini flu, but I still had to have the tests run. Luckily everything came out fine. No polyps, my gastric bypass is still looking good after all these years…basically a clean bill of gastrointestinal health.
Tuesday I had physical therapy on just my knee (the insurance company says that I can’t be seen for my knee and for my pelvic pain on the same day…a blessing in disguise. It just means I have to drive to PT four days a week…YAY! (That was sarcasm in case you missed it ;)). So, back to PT on Tuesday. My normal therapist had another engagement to attend to, so I was seen by a new therapist. Nice guy and all, but he ran me through the ringer. I don’t think he knew about my pelvic issues and even when I told him I don’t think he “got” it. I could barely walk the next day and it had nothing to do with my knee. I swear, I know that physical therapists are there to help, and do help many people, but to be a physical therapist there has to be a bit of sadism in the back of their minds somewhere because they make you HURT and tell you it’s for your own good…really?
Wednesday I finally went to get the car tags (applause in the background). As soon as I pulled up I started thanking God that there wasn’t a line outside the courthouse. I went ahead and took my ‘rollator’ with me because I was so exhausted from the day before. I made friends with the woman in front of me in line. She was also a younger woman (early forties) with a cane. At one point I let her sit on my rollator because she was starting to wobble. Forget being embarrassed, I was glad I had it then. She was a nurse who had been kicked in the leg by a mental patient. When he kicked her, between the force of the kick and her natural response to jump back, she ended up with two bulging disks. Such a nice lady to have gone through all that, but I guess all of us who are suffering be it visibly or invisibly, are good people too. All of our stories are sad to hear, but we still haven’t lost our essence. The sweet ones are still sweet, the feisty still feisty, and most important is that we keep our sense of humor. I don’t believe there’s any way to get by without it (which is why I remain such a smart-ass…it’s genetic – my whole family are smart-asses and proud of it ;)).
Speaking of family, Wednesday was also my aunt’s funeral. I was unable to go because of health reasons and because my family lives in Georgia (I’m in Alabama). It broke my heart to not be able to go, but I think she would have understood. She was my favorite aunt. I have so many memories of Mama and I going and spending the night at her house. My uncle had passed before I was born, so it was just her, but she had this HUGE (well, to me it was huge…I was a little girl) King-size bed. She, my mama, and I all fit in that bed. But before bed we would sit around her kitchen table just talking about everything. And she always had PLENTY of candy. I used to think she kept it there for me, but when I saw her these past two times before she died, she still had candy all over the place. Even though the situations surrounding my being in Georgia these past couple of times were not the best, I am glad that I was there and able to see her and talk with her about old times and about my mama before she passed. I think we both needed that.
Thursday was my first REAL day of physical therapy for the pelvic adhesions. I mentioned that my hips have been hurting for a couple of months. I thought maybe I had been walking off kilter because of my knee, but I wasn’t sure. You know, it takes a lot to make me cry from pain. Dealing with it all day every day you sort of build up a tolerance (plus, I’ve learned to always take my pain medicine before going in to PT). Anyway, so when I told her my hips were hurting she’s like ok, let’s see and started to kinda massage in the area between my hip and buttock…and I cried. My old therapist would apologize, but would keep doing what she was doing until she worked it out. This new one was saying how I had some serious trigger points (no shit Sherlock) when she realized that I was crying. I told her not to pay me any mind and do what she needed to do, but she stopped, saying she didn’t want to hurt me. Problem is I’m left with hips/buttocks that hurt worse now than before. I really miss my old therapist. I saw her for almost 3 years. She knew my body well enough that I would go in and she would ask where I was hurting the worst and that was what she would work on. She would find the spot right away and she would work it out. It usually hurt like hell until the next day and then it would be better. I’m not liking having to get used to a new therapist. Granted, she was the one who taught the one I used to see what she knew (there aren’t many who are specialized to treat pelvic pain patients) so she obviously knows her stuff. Problem is, she doesn’t know me yet or my body and in the interim of getting to know each other, I’m getting the pain without the gain.
On Friday I was supposed to go back for PT on my knee, but I was up all night with excruciating stomach pains and was back and forth to the bathroom. I think I might have gotten about four hours sleep. They were like diarrhea cramps, but you have to remember that my bowels are ‘glued’ to my abdominal wall and my internal organs so it was like a diarrhea cramp times 10. I didn’t just feel an intestinal cramp, I felt the cramp pull against my stomach muscles, my back muscles, and who knows what other organs as the cramps moved from my upper abdomen just under my ribcage down to my pelvis. I was doubled over in pain crying most of the night, so I wasn’t about to go to PT the next day. The cramps lost intensity, but were still there off and on all day Friday.
Today has been much better. I was actually able to wash some dishes (there wasn’t a clean dish in the house…and of course M- says he’s going to do them, but they just pile up until I suck up the pain and get it done). I couldn’t do all of them because I also did a couple of loads of clothes. I know that to a ‘normal’ person that’s practically nothing, but I was proud of what I was able to accomplish today with my hips screaming at me.
This week was one hell of a ‘line’ to get through, but I finally made it to the front. It’s funny how things like this make you stronger. You walk through hell but by the time you realize it, you’ve made it through and you’re all the better for it. Next time it won’t be quite as scary because you know you can make it to the front.