I am dreading tomorrow. Yes, since 8:00 this morning I have been on the verge of tears praying that something happens and I don’t have to do all the things I have to do tomorrow…either that, or money appears underneath my pillow offering me the assistance I will need to get through my day. I have no faith that either one will happen.
I get my check tomorrow. And for about the last year or so, I dread getting it because I know the busy day I will have running errands. Some days are good days. I am able to do what I have to do and return home without falling face first into the bed and sleeping for days…tomorrow will NOT be one of those days.
In anticipation of the day ahead, I have tried all week to get one of my doctors to agree to prescribe me a ‘thingie’. What is a ‘thingie’, you ask? Well, it resembles a walker, but has wheels, a padded seat, and a basket underneath the seat. This ‘thingie’ is exactly what I need for tomorrow, but I believe would also be helpful on other occasions when I have a lot of standing in line to do like…well for example like when I get my checks. Other than that, I am completely capable of walking and doing what needs to get done thanks to my medication. Without it would be a different story, but since that’s not the case, it’s a story that I won’t waste my time telling.
Was I able to get the doctors to write my prescription for this ‘thingie’, you ask? HELL NO. Apparently my physical well being is not of importance to my doctors at this time. The surgeon who operated on my knee said that – oh, I’m sorry. I saw the bitch of a physicians assistant (and she’s not just a bitch because she said no, it’s just her nature) who said that – since my knee should be completely healed in 3-4 weeks, they just can’t give me a piece of medical equipment like that (THEM. GIVE. ME? My insurance pays for things like that and then I’m responsible for 20%) and that if it was an issue with my adhesions then I needed to talk to my adhesion doctor.
So, I called my “adhesion doctor,” my pelvic pain specialist. He usually makes sure that I have what I need…not this time. He said that either the orthopedic surgeon or my general doctor needed to write for it considering that the ‘main’ reason I need it is because I just had knee surgery and shouldn’t be standing on it for as long as I will tomorrow (yes, I will get to how long…be patient, my dear reader). So, I called my GP. Told the whole long story once again to a nurse who also had a “are you really bothering me with this” kind of attitude. I found out the next day that he had said no to writing the script because he “was concerned that I would grow to depend on it instead of continuing with my endeavor to increase my strength, but he could send me to an occupational therapist who could help me.” AAARRRGGGHHH!!! Can an occupational therapist stand in line for me 6 hours tomorrow to get my car tag?
So, you say, why must I stand in line for 6 hours just to get a silly car tag renewed? Well, because I happen to have the luck to have chosen to live in a county that has declared bankruptcy. When I moved here, you could get your car tag at either one of two courthouses, or at one of six “satellite” centers. Perfect for the more than 660,000 people that live in this county (according to Wikipedia). But, as the money started running out (or being mis-apportioned in my opinion) the satellite centers began to close one by one until all that was left open was the two courthouses…for over 660,000 people! The lines are so long on any given day, that if you go by, you can see people in line outside the building waiting to get to the line inside the building. I have personally waited in those lines for two years now, but at the time I hadn’t recently had abdominal and knee surgery in the previous month!!!
So, unless I can find the $200 it costs to buy the ‘thingie’ to help me out tomorrow, I will:
1) wait in line at the bank on the busiest day of the month
2) wait in line at 5 payment centers who also happen to be pretty busy at the first of the month for some reason (and no, I can’t pay online or by phone…don’t you think I would if I could?)
3) go to the pharmacy
4) run by the insurance company
and that is all before I:
5) wait in line to change the address on my license (yes, I know I should have done it before now, but who knew my day was going to end up like this?)
6) wait in line for only God knows how many hours to renew my car tag
And, if some miracle happens and I haven’t passed out and had the ambulance called on me, or tripped over my very weak leg and fallen and had the ambulance called on me, then I still need to go to W
Now, you decide, shouldn’t one of the three doctors have taken pity on me (and usually, I don’t want ANYONE to pity me because I may be sick, but I am strong at heart, but this is an EXTREME circumstance) and signed their name on a little piece of paper that would have allowed me to pay $20 for my ‘thingie’ and been able to sit down when I need to sit down and have something to hold on to when I have to stand up? But, this is life and you can’t always have what you want. So, I will cry myself to sleep (yes, I know it is only 4:00pm) but I need all the ‘spoons’ (strength) for tomorrow that I can get. And if you think you’ll have a couple extra ‘spoons’ tomorrow, send them over this way. If you never have enough ‘spoons’ then just send me good wishes or pray for me because I am more scared of tomorrow than I was of both my surgeries combined.
Wish me luck…I’ll update when my I have the strength back that that I need for my fingers to function in order to write and for my brain to make sure that what I write is cohesive.